Monday, April 18, 2011

Not my proudest moment.

I have been feeling very bitter the past weeks. I don't know why, I just have. I have been craving my old life, my old heart returned, and the thoughts I had escaped found me once again.
Doubts keep my thoughts running wild, and stifling my faith. Yesterday I found myself mad. Truly furious. For no apparent reason. It scared me enough to realize my thoughts behind the anger. The person whom I was arguing with pointed me in the right direction with her words, even though I didn't show it at the time. She told me that the people who care for me that are distanced or going to be distanced from me care for me with the same passion that the Lord has for me. They view me as He does.
It hit me really hard. I've never viewed it like that before. As much trust I have in God, I should have in them. It's just hard. It will be very hard. But I am going to try, little by little. I just don't know that I need to stay in communication with them.which may sound bad, but its just going to make me miss them more.
I need to figure out where my heart is now.
I just have more to say than what people can hear.
I'm sorry for the sad posts recently. I hope they will start improving.
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